Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize