I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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