did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm really busy with my period
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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