Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
...so i touched it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
