Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
