i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You ate ashes out of my bong
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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