i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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