Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
