Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
