I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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