We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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