On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
