Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking

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(925): View more from California

I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position

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(330): View more from Ohio

When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?

(440): View more from Ohio

What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose

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(630): View more from Illinois

just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral

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(604): View more from British Columbia

She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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(530): View more from California

so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro

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(239): View more from Florida

This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.

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(334): View more from Alabama

If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?

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