I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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