Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am naked and annoyed.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
