Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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