it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
