Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

so now she's a stripper

(1-281): View more from Texas

can't say i'm surprised

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(858): View more from California

I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme

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(908): View more from New Jersey

idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.

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(305): View more from Florida

I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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(940): View more from Texas

low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.

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