if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
