Dual....:-)
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I will be naked everywhere
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
