I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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