I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
