i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize