you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm both gender and math confused
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
