I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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