your thong is hanging out like whoa
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
