if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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