we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
