you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
