How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
