You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize