i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize