used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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