My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she smelled like a LAN party
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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