I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
