Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
