Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
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