im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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