dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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