So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
