dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
