Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
