Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
