You can't motorboat a personality
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize