If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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