Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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