It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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