i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i think im in europe. pls send help
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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