I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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