Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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