Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
