I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
