my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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