so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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