you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
