Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just had sex bonerless
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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