i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just gift wrapped bread.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
