He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
They are going to name an STD after you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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