i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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