i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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