I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
