I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
