so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize