How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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