what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize