I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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